Let me ask you something: Have you ever done something really hard—so hard you wanted to quit—but you kept going? Maybe it was holding a plank for one more excruciating minute, finishing a project at work, or having a tough conversation you’d been avoiding. How did you feel afterward?

Let me tell you a story about when I first realized just how powerful the mindset you build in the gym can be.

Years ago back in college, I found myself in a CrossFit gym surrounded by weights, sweat, and, quite frankly, a lot of men. I was one of the few women in the class, and I felt like I had something to prove—not to them, but to myself.

The workouts were brutal. I vividly remember one particular day: my arms felt like jelly, and the thought of picking up that barbell one more time seemed impossible. My mind was screaming at me to quit. But I didn’t. I took a deep breath, gripped the barbell, and finished the set.

What happened next was more than just the satisfaction of completing a workout. I felt different. Stronger, yes—but not just in my muscles. Something clicked for me. I realized the discipline, grit, and mental toughness I was building in the gym didn’t just stay there. It followed me to school, work, and even my relationships.

When I had a big project due or needed to have a vulnerable conversation, I remembered that moment in the gym. If I could push through those reps, I could handle this, too.

Here’s the thing: The gym is more than a place to get fit. It’s a life lab—a space where you experiment with resilience, build character, and practice showing up even when it’s hard.

Think about it:

• When you push through a tough workout, you’re learning how to push through tough days.
• When you focus on form and consistency, you’re practicing patience and discipline.
• When you cheer yourself on during those final reps, you’re strengthening your self-talk—an essential tool for navigating life’s challenges.
  
  

Life, much like the gym, isn’t always easy. But here’s the deal: showing up matters. You don’t skip work just because you’re tired—you’ve got bills to pay. So why do we sometimes treat our physical and mental well-being as optional?

What if you approached your workouts like they were a prescription for success in every area of your life? Because, spoiler alert, they are.

One of my clients, Sarah, shared something profound with me recently. She said, “I used to hate running, but now, when I lace up my shoes, I tell myself I’m not just running—I’m proving to myself that I can do hard things.”

So how do you take the mindset you cultivate in the gym and apply it to life? Let’s talk about some real strategies:

1. Visualize Success: Before that tough workout or challenging task, close your eyes and imagine yourself succeeding. When I picked up that barbell in CrossFit, I pictured myself finishing strong. That visualization carried me through the pain.
   
2. Build Your Self-Talk Muscle: During workouts, I tell myself, You are capable. This is what you train for. I believe in you. That same self-talk gets me through stressful moments at work or in relationships. Replace self-doubt with affirmations.
   
3. Remember Your Wins: When life feels overwhelming, think back to a moment you pushed through something tough. Use that memory as proof that you can do it again.

To all the women reading this, I see you. I see you juggling work, family, children, relationships, socializing, and your own goals. It’s not easy. But every time you show up—whether it’s in the gym, the office, or just for yourself—you’re building something extraordinary: resilience, confidence, and strength.

You’re not just lifting weights; you’re lifting yourself. You’re not just running miles; you’re running toward a stronger, more empowered version of you.

The next time you step into the gym, remember that you’re doing more than working out your body—you’re training your mind to handle life’s challenges with grace and grit.

And when you feel like quitting, picture the finish line, tell yourself you’re capable, and remind yourself of this truth: you’ve done hard things before, and you’ll do them again.

So, here’s my challenge for you: Show up for yourself today. Whether it’s a workout, a tough conversation, or just getting through a long day, know that you’ve got what it takes to keep going. And when you do, you’re not just building muscles—you’re building a mindset that can conquer anything.

Now, let’s hear from you: What’s one hard thing you’ve done recently, and how did it make you feel? Share in the comments—I’d love to celebrate your wins with you.

My journey wasn’t just about starting a business—it was about aligning my passions with a greater purpose: helping people cultivate mental fitness as a foundation for happiness and success. I believe true fitness goes beyond the physical; it’s about working your mind as a muscle, just as you would train your body.

But let me tell you, stepping into entrepreneurship wasn’t without its challenges. I felt the pressure to get everything right, make every step perfect, and have all the answers. Sound familiar? If you’re like me, you understand how heavy that pressure can feel. It didn’t take long for me to realize that mindset wasn’t serving me—it was holding me back.

What I’ve learned—and what I want to share with you—is that entrepreneurship isn’t about perfection. It’s about staying curious, consistent, and rooted in your purpose. You don’t have to have everything figured out from the start—trust me, no one does. But how do you approach the journey mentally? That’s what will set you apart.

So, let’s get into it—here’s what I’ve learned about mindset on this path to creating meaningful impact:

1. Embrace the Beginner’s Mindset

Even if you have years of experience, you’ve got to approach everything with curiosity. The most successful entrepreneurs don’t operate from a place of “I already know this.” Instead, they’re asking, “What else can I learn? What haven’t I explored yet?” When you’re open to learning, you stay flexible and ready to adapt, no matter what challenges pop up. Every challenge is just information. That’s the key to growth—it’s not about being an expert right away. It’s about constantly refining, learning new skills, and gathering insights.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Sometimes, we avoid asking because we feel like we should know the answers. But real strength is in admitting what you don’t know. If you’re not an expert in finance or marketing, ask. Outsource. Be curious enough to seek out help and guidance where you need it. No one can be good at everything, and that’s okay. You don’t have to carry it all on your own—your curiosity is your greatest asset.

2. Let Go of Perfection—Focus on Consistency

Perfectionism is a trap. I used to spend so much time making sure everything was flawless before I moved forward, and I’m willing to bet some of you can relate. But here’s the truth: real progress happens when you show up every day, even when things aren’t perfect.

And I get it—I’m an overachiever too. This is still something I’m working on. But perfection isn’t the goal. It’s about the small, consistent actions you take every single day. You can’t do everything great all at once. Focus on what you can do right now, today. Then think about what you can do tomorrow. Those small steps will build momentum and create the lasting impact you’re striving for.

Start by visualizing the small actions you can take daily. Maybe today you focus on building a connection, tomorrow you take one step toward your financial goals, and the next day, you tweak your marketing. These little actions will create a rhythm—and when you focus on rhythm, things start to feel less overwhelming and more manageable.

3. Manage Your Energy, Not Just Your Time

Here’s something I wish I’d learned earlier—it’s not just about time management, it’s about energy management. Think about the times of day when you’re most productive and the tasks that drain you versus those that give you energy. Recognize when you’re in flow, and align your most important work with those moments.

And be willing to outsource when needed. You don’t have to be involved in every single aspect of your business. When you delegate tasks that drain you, it frees you up to focus on what lights you up and allows you to do the work that moves the needle.

4. Play the Long Game

Entrepreneurship is a marathon, not a sprint. It’s easy to get caught up in chasing quick wins or immediate results, but when you do, you lose sight of the bigger picture. Building something meaningful takes time, and it’s going to require patience, resilience, and a commitment to your vision. Stay rooted in your long-term goals, and don’t let short-term setbacks shake your focus.

A great way to stay locked into that long game is by using mental skills like visualization. Picture yourself reaching your goals—what does it feel like? What steps did you take to get there? When you consistently visualize your success, it helps you align your daily actions with the long-term vision you have for yourself.

5. Control the Controllables

This is huge. There are going to be things that feel completely out of your hands—and they probably are. But what you can control is your effort, preparation, and attitude. These are the three things that will help you move forward, even when the world around you feels uncertain. I like to think of it as A.P.E.: Attitude, Preparation, Effort.

When you focus on what’s in your control, you free yourself from the stress of trying to change what you can’t. That’s the mindset that keeps you grounded, moving forward, and able to stay true to your purpose.

6. Stay Purpose-Driven, Not Profit-Driven

Here’s something that will keep you going when things get tough: stay connected to your “why.” If you’re in a mission-driven field, whether it’s healthcare, nonprofit, or any kind of meaningful work, remember that your success isn’t just about profit. It’s about the impact you create and the lives you touch.

Your purpose is your fuel. Journaling or writing down what you’re grateful for each morning is a great way to stay grounded in that purpose. When you start your day with gratitude and a clear sense of why you’re doing what you’re doing, it sets the tone for everything else. The money and the success may come, but your mission is what will keep you motivated when the going gets tough.

7. You’re Not Alone

Finally, don’t be afraid to lean on others for support. Whether it’s hiring a coach, working with a therapist, or surrounding yourself with a community of like-minded people, you don’t have to do this alone. Sometimes, having someone to help you see things from a new perspective is exactly what you need to stay on track.

You’ve got the vision. Now it’s about building the mindset to bring it to life. Stay curious, stay consistent, and stay true to your purpose. You’re on your way to creating something incredible. Keep going—you’ve got this.

— Ellin

I used to view the summer as a time for vacation but, recently, I’ve been inspired by how much profit can actually come out of this “break” time. That doesn’t mean you have to spend all day indoors, but by implementing a few changes and initiatives, you can take this time and turn it from being a lull to actually garnering so much more profit. Here are five things you can do to maximize the summer season and start the new year feeling excited, rejuvenated and insanely productive.

1. Launch a new product or service — or rebrand what you’re doing.

Collectively and individually, we are, by nature, open to possibilities during the summer. Summer mornings in Israel – where my family and I live – are sunnier and just so much more pleasant than the rest of the year. There’s more hope in the air, even with the challenges we’re dealing with during such complicated times as now. It’s that point in the morning, between reciting the Morning Blessings and my second cup of coffee that I think out loud that anything can happen during the day ahead.

I read a self-help book called See You at the Top by business tycoon and author Zig Ziglar, who urged his readers to sit up in bed upon awakening and enthusiastically say aloud, “Oh, boy — another day! And another opportunity to take advantage of what the world has to offer!” Contrasting this with the Jewish approach to utilize every day in order to give the world our talents and abilities, that summery feeling of light and renewal is all around us.

With summer comes customers who are actually ready to buy again. Shops, restaurants and the performing arts are among the many businesses that weathered the pandemic and are back up and running. All industries have had their challenges, and many are considering special promotions to launch, relaunch, or rebrand their products and services. 

I actually rebranded myself this summer. I chose to work on my media interview coaching business while putting my podcast’s recording schedule on temporary hold. (You can still binge on three seasons of my weekly podcast interviews with famous Jewish scholars and authors on “At Home in Jerusalem,” on Aish.com.) Doing so allowed me to focus on this feeling of renewal and put my energy into one thing: receiving the maximum result.

Heather’s Bonus Pro Tip: Consumers spend more when there’s a coupon, promo code, or other discount offered.

2. Implement unique summery or holiday-themed promotions. 

Now that Tisha B’Av is over, musicians and soloists will once again fill their schedules with gigs. If your product is something music fans can buy near the site of the performance, look into getting a permit to set up a booth or kiosk on the premises. There are so many other possibilities to sell products during the summer, and summer-themed events are fantastic opportunities for small business owners. I often advise my clients to further their brand by hosting their own summer event, especially the kind that might spark some local media coverage such as:

• Paint parties
• Costume jewelry creating
• Flower arrangement workshop
• Cake decorating
• Cookout, BBQ

Even if your local media outlets take a pass on covering your event, the main point is to create brand awareness for your product or service. 

Your business doesn’t have to match exactly the type of event you are hosting! Let’s say that you’re a graphic artist, gallery owner, or nonprofit administrator. By hosting a paint party on your premises or wherever you have permission to host it, you’ll have the makings for great promotion and a positive association for all involved.

Heather’s Bonus Pro Tip: Summer holidays drive loads of people to summer fairs, so rent a booth and meet dozens of potential customers.

3. Head outside for some outdoor marketing. 

As more people go out and enjoy the sunshine, their eyeballs naturally come along, and it’s a great time to hang fresh new banners or posters around town. One word of caution: Just make sure you obey local municipalities’ ordinances about where you can or cannot post signs. I learned for myself over a decade ago that many towns forbid taping signs to telephone poles! I got a surprise phone call from a clerk who worked for my local municipality, and baruch Hashem, he politely asked me to remove a flier I had taped to a telephone pole. While you’re out and about, also be sure to avoid affixing your posters to natural objects like trees and rocks.

Lazy summer days also present many opportunities to spread some good will. While folks in the general public are milling around on sunny days, hand out coupons, product samples, or fun and useful goods like cold bottles of water with your service’s logo on the label. You might just make someone’s day feel “sunnier” and generate some welcome goodwill associated with your business.

Got a storefront? Obviously, you want people to come inside and shop. Summertime opportunities to get people to smile and talk about your place of business can happen on the spot. If you sell apparel, why not host a mini sidewalk fashion show? If you run a toy store, have a sales associate at the door with a few games or toys to try with passersby. 

A variety of storefront businesses — like the corner candy shop, sewing supplies store at the mall, or the neighborhood hardware store — get feet in the door by running little contests or raffles. Participants need to hand their entry forms or raffle tickets to a designated employee inside the place of business. And, once inside, participants are often game for doing some additional shopping.

Heather’s Bonus Pro Tip: Say yes to putting fliers in neighborhood mailboxes! Market research shows that 56 percent of consumers consider print media more trustworthy than other forms, and 79 percent of households will read or at least scan through direct mail adverts.

4. Summerize the look of your promotions.

Summer color palettes are actually a thing. Your advertisements during the summer should have a summery feel based on colors, typesetting and background. This goes for social media or printed promotions. 

For my media interview coaching business, I chose a bold, summery, orange-based palette for this time of year and added fun accents I might normally skip. People get a kick out of promos that have a fun vibe, with summer-themed accents. My assistant is infusing just a few clip-art silhouettes of sunglasses, beach balls and flip-flops on a flier we’re creating to promote a series of video interviews on my new YouTube channel. It sounds so corny to say we’re doing this, but as a visual it’s what makes the promotion took more light and fun.

Heather’s Bonus Pro Tip: The top-rated templates for summertime or anytime promotions can be found on websites like Canva, Desygner, Adobe Illustrator, and Shutterstock Editor. Some of these are completely free of charge and others have a free limited trial. My team’s absolute favorite is Canva. Logo Maker is another platform that a bunch of business owners use. So even though it’s not free, they do offer a satisfaction guarantee within the 30 days of the sale.

5. Give back to the local community.

More than ever, we’re more likely to pay for products and services that honor community, the environment, and inclusion. Local charities are not big business, but we can make them “our business.” Consider having your business partner with a local charity by donating a percentage of your sales or profits. 

I’ve also seen how donating some of your products to a charity’s event, or even co-creating a one-time event with them, can draw positive attention to both your business and to the charity’s good work. The same year I made aliyah, I began working at a Jerusalem-based PR firm. One client was a Modern Orthodox high school at which the students walked the Israel National Trail (which traverses the length of the Land of Israel, from the South to the North). 

I pitched a few of Israel’s top bottled water companies to donate water bottles for the students to carry and drink along their days of hiking. In the end, all agreed it was good publicity, but ultimately one company considered supplying water bottles. The takeaway is that business owners, non-profit organizations, and basically any entity which seeks more visibility should consider partnering with another entity so that both can further their brand. When it’s a natural fit like water and walking, things blend seamlessly.

Heather’s Bonus Pro Tip: Alert the media! News editors and journalists often cover uplifting events involving charities to balance all the distressing news in the world.

The Honorable Mention Pre-Vacation Tip to Free Up Some Headspace:

As the general public juggles busy summer travel plans and overcrowded popular attractions, now is the time to plan ahead as you ramp up your summer business promotions. And when it’s your turn to take that well-deserved vacation, keep your business’s engine running by planning ahead. You can schedule your posts, either one entry at a time on Twitter, through Tweetdeck; on Facebook, with the site’s scheduler/manager options; or do what most business owners I know do: head over to Hootsuite! Many of my colleagues — including my own director of operations — prefer Hootsuite’s all-in-one social network integrations for Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn and YouTube.” 

Here’s to summer success!

Heather Dean is a media producer, public speaker and author. Heather coaches entrepreneurs and writers on promoting their businesses and written work though media interviews. Her memoir about her foray into broadcasting and eventual aliyah to Israel are detailed in her memoir, Searching for Heather Dean: My Extraordinary Career as a Celebrity Interviewer and Why I Walked Away From It, available for sale on Amazon.

After the birth of her daughter, she realized she was spending any free time she had learning about pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. She wanted to channel this newfound passion into something productive, so she got certified as a childbirth educator. Now, she has her own business called Birth Positive Childbirth Education, where she teaches expecting parents what they need to know to prepare for birth and parenthood. 

Lauren’s approach is very balanced and nonjudgmental; she recognizes that not everyone’s “ideal birth” will look the same. She defines important terms that may be foreign when you first get pregnant, teaches ways to cope with labor, and helps prepare parents to make informed decisions once it’s game time.

We sat down with Lauren to get the scoop on what made her so passionate about starting Birth Positive, how you can be more prepared if you’re an expectant mother, and to get her advice on launching a business from something you love. 

How did you become a childbirth educator?

Before having children, I was working full-time as a consultant. After about two years of work, I had my first child. The company I worked for was, and continues to be, amazing about supporting parents. They offered a long parental leave—six months—and were great about flexibility—normally my work week involved being away three nights a week. As my son got older, though, I wanted to be around more, and it got emotionally harder for me to leave him during the day and overnight several times a month.

When I had my daughter, two years later, I tried to go back to work part-time after maternity leave, but, unfortunately, they couldn’t accommodate that type of schedule. I went back anyway, but it became increasingly obvious to my husband and me that this type of full-time consulting role was no longer working for me—and, frankly, for our family as a whole. So, I made the decision to leave my job in October 2017, right after my daughter’s first birthday, to become a stay-at-home mom or family COO (chief operating officer) as my husband and I call it. 

Then, after about a year of just focusing on being home, I started to feel that I wanted something else, outside of my family responsibilities. During my pregnancies, and especially after my daughter’s birth, I became addicted to listening to podcasts and reading articles about birth. I thought that if I was going to be spending so much time on this passion, then maybe it would make sense to get certified and start teaching, so that’s what I did.

What led you to become so interested in birth and the postpartum experience? 

In terms of getting interested in birth—through my own experiences I just realized how much there is to know and understand about the birth process. I wanted to make that information more accessible to people, because my hope was that through accurate information, people could reduce their fear and have more positive associations with birth. That’s one of the reasons why I chose the name Birth Positive. I also believe that knowledge is power, so having information can help people make more informed decisions, which could lead to better outcomes and more positive experiences.

Personally, the postpartum period when I had my first baby was really hard both physically and emotionally. I was sore all over—I could not sit properly for over a week, and I just felt really out of it. I didn’t feel well-prepared either—adjusting to having a baby was a lot more intense than I had anticipated. I felt like my world was turned upside down and it was never going to go back to the way it was. There was the lack of sleep, the emotional aspects of breastfeeding and feeling how dependent my baby was on me. It was hard for me to ask for and accept help, as well. It was a huge learning curve. I was also one of the first of my friends to have a baby, so I had never seen anyone close to me go through this transition before I did, and they couldn’t really understand what I was going through. It was isolating. 

So, from that, I decided I really wanted to help people have a better experience than I did. That was my main motivation—helping others feel prepared and supported.

Wow, yes, I’m sure that resonates with many people. How did you get through that period in your life?

I had a couple of close friends who really helped me get by. But, honestly, I think it was just time. That being said, I would definitely encourage people to reach out for support, whether it’s through a mental health provider, a therapy service provider**, a mentor, or a new-mom support group if they feel they are struggling. I did go to a new-moms’ group, which was helpful, because it helped me feel less alone. 

During COVID, it’s even harder; because it’s such an isolating time for everyone. I started a virtual new-mom support group during COVID for this reason—to help new moms find support from other new moms, even if we can’t be physically together. It’s helped a lot of people feel less alone.

One other point is that, for me, I think the key was not being afraid to talk about my experience. Telling people how hard it was for me started to open the conversation and helped me realize how a lot of new moms also struggle with the transition to becoming a mom—just no one really talks about it.  

Speaking of conversations, let’s talk about your birth classes. Why should someone take one?

I think it is super important to take a class because you don’t know what you don’t know. With the unknown comes fear, and there’s so much our culture has done to scare people about birth. In the movies or on TV, it looks very dramatic. While in real life women may be screaming and in pain as well, this doesn’t necessarily equate to horrible suffering. I’m not going to say birth isn’t painful, but if you take a class, you can increase your confidence, address the fears around it, and have a more realistic picture of what to expect. 

The reality is that we cannot control how a birth pans out; nevertheless, gaining tools and strategies to work with contractions, learning coping strategies to manage the pain and discomfort, and finding the right support go a long way in setting you up for a more positive experience. A class also helps people learn terminology and, more importantly, the right questions to ask, so they can better understand what’s happening, especially in a hospital environment. Learning the lingo can help people advocate for themselves and have better conversations with their doctor or midwife, not just during labor but during pregnancy, too, which all can lead to a more positive, less fearful experience. Ultimately, educating yourself helps you understand the things you can do that are in your power, and the education can help you feel more confident, instead of feeling like a deer in headlights, no matter how the birth unfolds.

How do you help someone prepare?

For birth, I teach about the whole process — signs you’re in labor*, how the labor progresses and what you can do during labor to manage it. Even if someone says, “I’m planning on getting an epidural at the earliest opportunity,” then that’s great, but she still needs to know what to do before going to the hospital and before an epidural is available. If you have no comfort measures to manage contractions, it can be really disarming and hard, to say the least. So, I teach about what you can do during contractions, leaving people with some tools in their toolkit. 

We also discuss the most common medical interventions, including epidurals, inductions, and c-sections, as well as the benefits and risks of each of them. I help students practice self-advocacy skills, so they can feel confident to ask questions and weigh decisions no matter what situation they find themselves in. I share what to expect during the immediate postpartum period, both physically and emotionally. 

I recently started offering a separate Postpartum Preparation class because I felt there was never enough time to discuss postpartum in the regular childbirth education class. In that class, I share practical strategies with expecting parents to navigate the transition to new parenthood as successfully as possible. There is also a lot of discussion and many thought-provoking questions, so expecting parents take the time to think about life with baby before the birth and come up with a plan that could work specifically for them.

*Signs You're in Labor
“The main sign is your contractions will get longer, stronger and closer together over time. Sometimes, people get contractions and then they stop, or they have Braxton-Hicks, where it may be hard to tell the difference. The key is that the contractions come more frequently; they go from lasting 30 seconds to 60 or 90 seconds, and they become stronger, making them impossible to ignore.”

That’s so important. What are your goals for the business?

One goal I have is to continue to expand on the types of classes I offer. Initially, I was only teaching private childbirth education classes, but I’ve now expanded into offering virtual group classes. The fact that everything was forced to be virtual has actually been one benefit of COVID for my business because I’ve been able to reach people in all different communities. I’ve also added two new types of classes—Postpartum Prep, as I mentioned, and a refresher class for parents who already have children.

I also plan to offer an early pregnancy class to help people start off on the right foot, especially when it comes to choosing their care provider and place of birth. I really want people to think about those decisions more broadly, because you often have to make those decisions early on in pregnancy and they influence the birth so much. I find that sometimes when people learn more, like when they take my class toward the end of their pregnancy, they may decide they want to have a certain type of birth but then realize their doctor isn’t supportive. They may then feel stuck. I want to prevent this scenario from happening. 

Finally, another goal I have is to network with other professionals in the birth world. We moved from Manhattan to the Five Towns in September, so I’d love to build a local network and client base here. I’ve started to be active on Instagram with lives and conducted webinars as well, so I want to continue to do those, as well as continuing to provide information to expecting parents.

How did your life change when you had more children? Did it get easier or harder?

In general, life got a bit harder with more children—you just have more to balance—but the adjustment of adding a new baby to the family was easier. In the newborn phase, I already felt like I knew what I was doing. Plus, my life was already structured around a “kid” schedule with the early wakeups, bedtime, and naps, and I was very much used to getting up early on the weekends. This was a big adjustment for me with my first—that loss of freedom and flexibility in my schedule—but not as much with my subsequent children. [NOTE: Lauren had her third baby in March of last year.]

I also think when you have another baby, they’re not the only child you’re focused on. You might not be able to get to them the second they start crying, and that’s okay. I remember one day I was getting my son ready for school, and my baby was crying and I just couldn’t get to her that second. In a few minutes, she ended up just falling back asleep on her own. That never would have happened if she was my first. You just naturally recalibrate a standard that’s probably a lot healthier, and you figure out how to allocate your attention between the two of them.

**ATTENTION: Are you a new mom looking for support? Lauren shares her tips for finding help:

1. Join a new mom support group. Lauren offers one virtually every couple of months (the schedule is on Instagram and her website). Often, there are groups offered locally at different community centers, such as a JCC, too, so you can Google around for various options and see if something in your area fits what you’re looking for. During COVID, many places have been offering virtual options, as well. 

2. Look into mental health providers. Lauren suggests identifying a therapist while you are still pregnant, someone you can have “on call” should you need them in the postpartum period. There’s no downside to setting up a meeting with a mental health provider like a therapist or counselor if you’re struggling. 

“You deserve to feel like yourself and that you’re getting the support you need, even if you don’t have an officially diagnosable perinatal mood and anxiety disorder like postpartum depression,” she says. Many therapists offer an initial consultation for free. Some therapists are covered by insurance, and most can work with you on a sliding scale if finances are a concern. To find a provider, you can look at your insurance plan to see who is in-network and also to find out about your out-of-network benefits. You can speak to friends and family or ask your OB/midwife for recommendations. There are also great resources online. Lauren suggests helloalma.com and betterhelp.com to find a provider.

3. Visit sites that have information to help new moms. The Motherhood Center is based in NYC and offers many services for expecting and new moms struggling with PMADs (Postpartum Mood and Anxiety Disorders). Currently, they offer virtual programming to help new moms deal with anxious thoughts, irritability, and postpartum depression so they can get back to feeling like themselves. The Motherhood Center also offers individual therapy. Postpartum Support International (postpartum.net) is another great organization with a comprehensive website that has plentiful resources, a support hotline and articles for new parents—both men and women. For breastfeeding support and other informational articles about parenting, kellymom.com is an amazing go-to.

NOTE: For anyone struggling with infertility, miscarriage, and pregnancy after loss, I Was Supposed to Have a Baby offers an active Instagram community, virtual support groups, individual support sessions and articles to help you feel less alone.

That’s a really great perspective. What advice would you give someone who wants to turn their passion into a career?

First, I would say to research what’s being offered in the area you want to pursue. I knew that childbirth classes existed, so I knew I could move forward with my passion in that way. Once I decided I wanted to get certified, I looked into different options. I reached out to others in the field for advice on what certification to get. This helped me decide on Lamaze International, which I felt was the most balanced, as well as being a very well-reputed certification agency. Following other childbirth educators on Instagram helps me get new ideas for what to incorporate in my classes and what else is happening in the market. There are also Facebook groups, where you can ask questions about growing a business—people have been really helpful there.

I also took a look at my lifestyle to determine what area of birth I wanted to work in. Often, there are many options within one field. When it comes to birth work, someone can be a childbirth educator, a doula, midwife, lactation counselor or consultant, a Labor & Delivery Nurse and more. Each of these has a different skill set, focus area and training requirement. I would actually love to be a doula as well, but it doesn’t work with my lifestyle right now, with little kids, so pursuing a path as an educator allows me to work normal and predictable hours. Maybe when my kids are older and more independent, I can become a doula, too.

In addition, being a childbirth educator allows me to use skills I already have, from when I worked as a consultant—creating easily digestible content, explaining complex processes in a way that a client (expecting parents, in this case) can understand, creating presentations and managing client relationships. 

After you do some research and internal reflection, start small. As I said before, I’m now beginning to get into all these other offerings, but when I started, about two and a half years ago, I was just giving childbirth classes privately. That was the only thing and I just worked to perfect that. If I had begun with everything at the outset, I think it would have been too much to coordinate mentally and logistically. So, starting with one idea, making it really good and then expanding is key. On that same note, though, just begin. If you wait for something to be perfect, you’re never going to do it.

I definitely was afraid of being judged in the beginning, but it’s important to move past that. I thought people would think it was weird if I was talking about birth, but I just gave myself a pep talk and said I’m going to ignore the haters. I had to stop myself from being so self-conscious. I really think that most people, especially in our generation, think it’s cool when people start their own business or initiative. 

Also, it’s normal to make mistakes. Early on, I wished I did certain things differently in some classes, but then I just learned from it and changed things the next time. When reflecting on this, I realized I was still helping people, even if one aspect was not perfect. I remind myself not to let perfect be the enemy of the good. 

Finally, I always come back to focusing on my mission, which is to help people increase their confidence—and lower their fear and anxiety around labor and birth—through education. I find that when everything I’m giving over in a class comes back to that core mission, my students leave class feeling more confident, not just in their physical ability to give birth, but also more prepared mentally and emotionally for whatever labor, birth, and new parenthood throws their way.

For more from Lauren, visit her website at bebirthpositive.com or on Instagram @birth_positive.

After years of experience pushing through a competitive industry and succeeding in getting her work published in Haaretz, Tablet and The New York Times, to name a few, she’s sharing her tips with other aspiring journalists. Read on, then forge ahead to get that byline!

1. Push past the “nos.”

“It’s a lot of rejection,” Avital explains. Most people get ahead in the journalism world through connections. Knowing the right person, or really, any person, can push your resume to the top of the pile. 

“Every path to success is paved with disappointment,” Avital shares. “I was rejected from so many jobs. I was aggressive for more than five years trying to break in and it was a bit soul-crushing. I didn’t have a network to reach out to and that was hard.”

Eventually, she explains, you just have to stick with it and the job will come, no matter how long it takes. “If you continue to write and build your portfolio online (through freelance writing or any other related projects) you will get recruited for a job. It’s a harder path, but if you persevere, it can happen.”

2. Don’t be afraid of missteps.

Avital did get a prestigious summer internship at a publication, but as an unpaid intern, she needed to be selective about the work she was doing to make sure she would get the most out of it. “My parents weren’t able to support me,” she explains. “So, I had to get a job as well.”

At the internship, she spent her first day designing a flyer, a task she didn’t find fulfilling or something that would help her achieve her goal. While work may be unexciting at the beginning of an internship, as interns are often given tedious tasks, Avital ultimately decided it wasn’t worth her time, so she left the job. Sometimes, you just know in your gut that a position isn’t right for you, and if that’s the case, it’s okay to leave. It doesn’t mean you’re throwing away your dreams forever.

3. Carve out a freelance niche.

“Freelancing is a really good entry point into eventually landing a job,” Avital explains. She suggests pitching to a variety of places, ideally in a certain niche, or beat, that you can own. Examples of this could include fashion, food, Jewish culture, politics, technology, etc. but really, the possibilities are endless. Develop a social media presence for yourself that only further contributes to your skill and expertise. If you do carve a niche, you will be able to differentiate yourself from other writers. If you’re more of a generalist, pursuing a few key categories will also help boost your portfolio and open up possibilities. 

If you’re stuck on where to break in when it comes to freelancing, don’t be afraid to cold pitch editors. “Everything I’ve ever done has been through a cold pitch,” Avital explains. “I’ve never had an ‘in’ anywhere.” She suggests poking around different publications, as they often have open email addresses to submit pitches. You can also guess an editor’s email address by looking up the format of that publication’s emails. For example, if you see that The New York Times has an editor listed with their first name [dot] last name [at] NewYorkTimes.com, you can probably figure out any other editor of interest by using the same format.

“I spent a lot of time researching that, collecting contacts and pitching,” she shares. “A small fraction of the pitches are accepted, but doing this also helps build a rapport. You get to know the editor who often will reply with feedback even if something doesn’t work out. Sometimes, they’ll even say to reach out again in a few months if it’s not the right time.”

4. Read as much as you can.

Feeling the writer’s block? “Reading excellent writing will seep into you by osmosis,” she says. That doesn’t mean you have to read The New Yorker or The Economist, even novels and poetry can put this flow or rhythm in your brain to help get the wheels turning and the words flowing through your fingertips.

5. Take risks.

Avital discussed in her profile piece that she landed a job with Haaretz after writing a letter to the editor in response to an editorial he had published. While it was “chutzpadik,” (audacious), she says, he was impressed with it, so much so that he gave her a reporting job. It’s further proof that you never know where that first big break will come from.

Avital stresses the importance of pushing through the challenge in the hopes of cultivating new, great writers. “We specifically need young female journalists doing this work,” she says. “Young women are often at the forefront of societal challenges and have the finger on the pulse of the problems facing communities, but rarely do they have the platforms, the training and the support to speak up or uncover those very issues. Writing for a media outlet that isn’t afraid to look at problems and say, ‘How can we fix this?’ is so important. That’s the only way to create change, especially in our own communities.” 

Jenna, now a property manager based in Chicago, had no intention of making the group so huge. But friends started inviting other friends to join … and the numbers climbed. 

As things grew, so did the challenges of managing such a large forum. While the group always had goodness at its core, it also generated numerous halachic she’eilot (questions). Jenna often had to (and still does) weigh the pros and cons of keeping the group open. Nevertheless, the forum holds strong today and is a mainstay for so many observant Jewish women.

We sat down with FGP’s leading lady to talk about all that and go behind the scenes to learn what things are really like on the backend of this massive group.

COL: Let’s take things back to the beginning. When did you start FGP and what were the first posts about?

We started the group six years ago. It was mostly jokes at that time. So many of us were back in our hometowns after seminary and needed a place to connect. We were keeping Shabbat in our parents’ houses for the first time and keeping kosher in America, so there were new challenges, and it was good to have a place to make light of them. There was also chizuk (encouragement)-related content—we needed a place that could be supportive. 

Were you always the leader of the group?

I was the main poster initially, but everyone contributed. Then, as the group grew—mostly through word of mouth—the content evolved. People started asking where they could find tzniut clothing in their cities, for example, and members became more diverse in both age and where they were from, versus just post-seminary girls. We got to maybe 400 members when someone suggested I step up and moderate. At that point, I decided to make the group private so we could ensure we knew who the members were, and I became the unofficial leader of the group. I would read the messages before posting and set general rules and expectations.

How did that role evolve as things grew?

Well, now I read every message before it’s posted. On a weekly basis, I get about 50-60 messages, maybe more, and only 25 percent actually make it to the page.

Wow, why is that?

A lot of them are advertisements, so we don’t post those. We also get a lot of Tehillim requests [prayers for those who need healing], which I had to put my foot down on; they just got to be too many. The message could also be too personal or too controversial for a public discussion. For example, someone might have an issue with a Jewish vendor and they want to know how to handle the situation. While I want them to get the clarity they need, it usually creates a risk of lashon hara (negative speech) about the vendor and/or the Jewish people in general.

Then, there are other random things like a link that doesn’t work or an article that isn’t really a fit. Most often, people don’t really read the rules before posting, so I get a lot that are against the norms.

How much time do you devote to it per day?

I’ll check it maybe once every two hours throughout the day and spend about 15 minutes on it each time. I check in frequently throughout the day, in short spurts. I’ve found that method to be more effective and better for my peace of mind versus devoting an hour after work to it.

I hear that. There are often posts that spark a debate—and not always in a good way. You constantly have to moderate and make sure things don’t get out of hand. Sometimes you have to make a public statement about conduct in general. How do you go about handling these issues? Do you ever consult rabbis or mentors?

Yes, in the beginning I was definitely consulting rabbis and rebbetzins on a regular basis. Then, as time went on, I started to get the hang of it—themes repeat every so often. If something is happening now in someone’s life, it probably also happened three years ago to someone else. It’s rare that I’m faced with something I’ve never dealt with before in the group. So I’m able to apply what I’ve learned already and avoid things I know didn’t work in the past. 

Lashon hara (evil speech) is one of the main issues, whether in a post or in the comments. I asked my rabbi a long time ago about a particular dilemma, and his answer was, “The Chofetz Chaim [the Rabbi known for his laws on proper speech] would not be impressed.” So, I applied that to my overall way of thinking. I really want to keep the group positive, making sure we’re following not just halacha but an overall Jewish spirit.

What do you do when it looks like things are heading in a bad direction?

I have to take it on a case-by-case basis—sometimes I let things play out on their own if I feel like they’re about to settle down. If I have to, though, I’ll speak to people privately and even remove them if I feel like it’s necessary. I often remove full conversations or posts as well. Some people disagree with this, but it’s always worked for me as a way to keep things from getting out of hand—and so people don’t embarrass themselves and hurt others.

What are other challenges of running FGP?

The hardest, most emotional part for me is when I get personally attacked in private messages or embarrassed publicly by someone saying “the moderator would never do x, y, or z,” basically passive aggressive remarks that hurt. It doesn’t get less painful, even though it’s been happening for years. I do feel supported by the majority of the group; I know that the people getting upset and angry are outliers. Maybe there are 100 out of 16,000, but the most aggressive voices tend to be the loudest. I have to remind myself about the positives and stay focused on the goal.

Have you ever thought about shutting the group down?

Yes, there have been a few times where I really questioned it. One time when I was seriously considering it, I went to a big rav for advice. I told him all the positives, negatives, risks, pros and cons, and he told me to continue with it. He thought that it was a valuable resource for a lot of women, and that outweighed the negatives. So, I stopped considering it at that point, but I’ll reassess as the years go on and as my own life circumstances change.

Right. I know a lot of people often post that maybe getting additional moderators would help.

Yes, people definitely offer. I actually have a few people nobody knows about who do help me, but my thought process when I’m reading and rejecting or accepting posts is so nuanced. I go through a long calculation in my head for each one—but very quickly. At some point, I will have to train other moderators to do that, but for now, I haven’t been able to commit to that.

I know you also get a lot of heavy stuff in your inbox—you hear a lot about what’s going on in people’s lives and it’s not always great. How do you let that go at the end of the day?

Honestly, I do hold onto it sometimes. I compare it to a career in social work, for example, or anyone working to help those with substance abuse, domestic abuse or child abuse. Anyone who has done something like that for long enough just knows that this goes on. As horrible as it is, things become less shocking because you’ve heard about them before. There are a lot of very painful, sad home situations. Everybody has their own journey and I just have to remember that G-d is with the person in the hospital as much as He’s with the person living in a multimillion-dollar mansion.

Have you ever sent people out to get additional help?

I’ve referred people, yes. But I’ve removed the achrayut (responsibility) for myself of dealing with very serious mental health or legal issues. It’s not my responsibility alone. I’ll advise them to go elsewhere, but whether or not they take me up on that is completely on them.

Do you feel a sense of empowerment from having built such a powerful group?

I would say the various feelings I have about the group come in waves. There are definitely elements of pride from the positive things that have come from the group, but by the same token, it helps me work on humility. I do some pretty regular ego checks. 

I also work on a lot of my middot (character traits) through the group. I’m always faced with something that tests my patience or forces me to work on judging favorably. So, I feel that on a regular basis, but who can be upset about something that helps them become a better person? 

That makes a lot of sense and is such a great perspective. What do you do when you’re not working on FGP?

I work as a property manager. So, what that means is, if you own a condo, for example, there’s a management company that oversees everything. We handle all the landscaping, things like snow removal, if there’s a leak in the roof, anything related to the whole building opposed to inside each unit. It’s a lot of larger-scale projects.

You used to work professionally in social media. How did that evolve?

Yes, I actually started in marketing. I had my own business and was doing pretty well, but as things progressed, I started to have moral conflicts with Instagram specifically. There were things that I needed to tell my clients to do in order to grow their accounts, like talking about their family and personal life, which I didn’t necessarily agree with. I pressed pause on it until I could figure out how to balance my values with helping people succeed in their goals.

You deleted your own Instagram account as well—what sparked that?

Yes, I went off two years ago. There was nothing I was gaining from Instagram that I couldn’t gain elsewhere. I would use it for recipes or outfit ideas, but I could really find that stuff in other places. I found I was on it for more superficial things and realized I was being judgmental in ways that I didn’t want to be. Being off of Instagram has really improved my outlook on life.

That makes sense. So with having mixed feelings on social media, what keeps you going with FGP?

It’s really amazing when someone made a connection from the group that really helped them, or that they got the resources they’ve been looking for. Actually, I have an unbelievable story about that. Recently, a woman in her early 40s reached out to me with a message request. She had been trying to have a child via IVF for years and went into heavy debt because of it. She was reaching out for chizuk, she had used all of her community and personal resources and just wanted to connect with someone in a similar situation about when they stopped trying. It was a heartbreaking post.

Within 15 or 20 minutes, I got a message from a woman saying, “Hi Jenna, I’m in my mid-30s and just got married. As a zechut for me to have a child, I would like to pay for an IVF treatment for her.” I was stunned. IVF is $15-20,000 per treatment. I asked how she wanted to go about it, and she said it was up to the poster. I ended up acting as an intermediary for them so they remained anonymous to each other. A couple of weeks later, the donor sent me a message saying a check for $16,000 was in the mail. No one will ever know what this specific person did except for me and the other intermediary. It’s so amazing, I was shaking when I got the offer. Things like that make it all worth it.

Want Jenna’s tips to get your own initiative off the ground? Click here!

1. Nail down your intentions.

It’s one thing to have an idea, but another to really refine your why. Ask yourself some questions to clarify your vision:

• Do you see a need and feel that you’re the best one to fill it?
• Has there been anything else like it before?
• If so, where did they go right and wrong?” 

“Use the answers to those to figure out your mission statement,” Jenna says. “There is a lot of humility and introspection that is needed before you begin.”

2. Look at similar initiatives.

Imitation is the best form of flattery, Jenna explains. “Of course, you don’t want to copy anyone else, but there’s nothing wrong with looking around at other Facebook groups or Instagram accounts to see what works and what doesn’t,” she shares. “I always recommend that to people before branding or re-branding.”

3. Expect adversity.

No new business is immune to criticism. Jenna has experienced her fair share with FGP and knows that when you’re sharing something with the world, you’ll probably get some feedback—and not all of that is going to be nice. Sometimes, they also might be right.

“Nobody is perfect,” she says. “Everybody makes mistakes, so you have to expect to fail sometimes. That’s how you figure out how to innovate. It’s not as personal as you may think.”

4. Step away when necessary.

In any business, you’re bound to have ups and downs, highs and lows, and moments of pure frustration. “I’m a huge believer in sleeping on it,” Jenna shares. “If I’m struggling, I’ll direct my attention to something else that brings me joy, like spending time with my husband or getting involved with a community project or going on a walk with a friend. Sometimes things can’t be fixed in the moment, and that’s okay; just step away from it and return to it with fresh eyes and a clear head.”

5. Remember Hashem is running the show.

Most importantly, know that you will do your hishtadlut (putting in effort), but ultimately, whether it pans out or not is from Hashem. “He is making the world run,” Jenna notes. “I always remind myself that the group would have zero members without Hashem’s guidance. Nothing will be successful if Hashem doesn’t want it to be and if it’s not good for the Jewish people.”

Missed Jenna’s story? Click here to catch up!