On Writing a Book: 10 Minutes with Jenna Maio

It’s easy to dream about writing your first book, but much harder to put pen to paper and actually make it happen. Jenna Maio, 31, defied the odds and did it, releasing her debut, Princess Without a Crown, in November of last year.

The book is a coming-of-age story in which she details how she went from being a secular Jewish girl from Long Island to becoming a religious Jewish woman who now lives in Eretz Yisrael. Along the way, she got a law degree, lobbied for environmental rights in Washington, D.C., and casually reframed her view of the world. She went on a spiritual journey, getting in touch with her inner essence—that of a princess, the daughter of a King, or G-d. “For the first time, I own the fact that I truly am a princess — a holy soul, a daughter of the King Himself,” she writes in her book.

Through recognizing the value in that, she was able to grow into a life rich with meaning and purpose. We sat down with Jenna to learn more about her story, the process of writing a book and how she now defines her role as a Jewish woman.

COL: What inspired you to write a book and what is yours about?

Jenna: I’ve wanted to write a book since I was in high school. Even though I went to law school, I majored in English and creative writing in college. When my life unfolded the way it did, I just felt like I needed to write it down and share it with others. It was also for me. A lot had happened, and I needed to process it all. I had become religiously observant despite having a lot of opposing forces around me. I was maturing into a woman and there was a lot that happened there.

Tell us more about the title—where does that come from?

A big part of my journey was the realization that I am a princess. Not in the girly-girl fairy tale sense, but in the sense that I am the daughter of a King. Matisyahu’s song, “King Without a Crown” was a very influential song for me as well, so that’s part of it. The theme of being a princess came up over and over on my Jewish journey. 

After I had that realization, I “happened” to hear the following quote from a mentor of mine, Jackie (Engel) Glaser at Neve: “The path to growth can only begin with the realization that you’re a princess.”  Because I developed that confidence, I was able to pursue this path. In terms of the “without a crown” concept, in the preface to the book, I discuss that the title refers to somebody who is alienated from their regal heritage. As Jews, we are inherently holy, but often we’re disconnected from what that really means, as I was growing up.

How did you end up in law school if your dream was to write?

Honestly, I was a bit brainwashed to go to law school. My mom totally drilled it in to me that I was going to be a lawyer, so I never questioned it. Luckily, I was a good reader and writer, so things flowed. In terms of the passion, I decided in college I would go to law school for idealistic reasons. I wanted to change the world and worked on climate change policy. But when I got to law school, it was a big dose of reality. Law is a really intense profession and there is a lot of red tape. It’s not that fun and exciting. Although I had really amazing opportunities working for the Environmental Protection Agency and an NGO, I really didn’t feel like it was my calling.

It was hard to own that. I had put so much time and energy into it, so to step away was challenging, but I realized that if I continued, I would just spend more time being miserable. In the book, I talk about how I met with a career counselor at the law school during my last year and even though she barely knew me, she said, “You sound like you want to be a writer.” I realized I had buried that part of me in law school. From then on, I knew I wanted to pursue writing.

I still took some time to get there though—I graduated from Penn in the spring of 2014, then went to Israel in the fall for a foreign clerk position at the Supreme Court of Israel. In the spring, I went to seminary at Midreshet Rachel V’Chaya to continue studying Torah and ended up meeting my husband in February of 2015. We got married later that year and ended up in LA, where he is from. I started writing there.

How long did it take you to write your book? How did you go about getting it published?

I worked on my book for about a year, writing a couple hours every day. I had it professionally edited, but then ended up shelving it for a bit while I had my first baby in 2017. My ideal was to publish the book in the secular world. I really wrote it for secular people. Eventually, though, I realized that the secular publishing world is really cutthroat, and even if I got my book through, I would be doing everything on their schedule. I was raising a family, which was important to me also, so I realized it might not be necessary to do it on that level.

I decided to just try and get it out in some way. I reached out to Ami (a religious Jewish magazine) to see if they would be interested in publishing it and they were. They ended up publishing a chapter every week for a year starting in December 2018. Even though it wasn’t the initial audience I intended it for, I got amazing feedback. I would get emails from Chassidish girls who were super inspired. That was really cool. I think hearing from someone who came from the outside and chose this life validated their world. Telling them I had all these opportunities in the secular world, yet still chose Torah gave them chizuk (encouragement).

Once the series ended in the magazine, I self-published the full book with a company called Jewish Self-Publishing in November of last year. That means that I own the rights, but the company helped put everything together to actually get it out and printed.

That’s amazing! It’s good to see how even though your path may change, you can still accomplish incredible things and live out your dreams. You also recently started a podcast called Modern Jewish Girl. How did that come to fruition?

I wanted to create a podcast for a long time. When I looked on Apple podcasts, I saw a lot of cool frum women podcasts out there, but I felt like I could make one that was more Torah-based. So, it’s really a show about how beautiful Torah is, how deep it is and how relevant it is in our lives. I really try to keep them short as well—like 10 or 15 minutes a week so people can fit it in easily. [Check it out here!]

Where does your confidence come from? How did you find the strength to really validate yourself as a writer?

Honestly, in the beginning I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer. Now that I’ve written a book and pieces online, I’ve received that external validation. I know it sounds silly, but it did help me gain confidence as a writer. It made me feel like I could be taken seriously. Getting paid for my story also helped. Before that, it felt like pretend. Now, someone was paying me for my work. It was real and that was a good feeling.

What are you looking to do next?

I definitely want to continue building my podcast. In terms of writing, I do plan to start a new project. I’ve been so consumed with my book up until now. It feels like I gave birth—I’m in the postpartum period with marketing it. But as writer Nora Ephron said, “Everything is copy.” So, I look at my life as writing material, for better or for worse. 

I would love to write about my pregnancy, giving birth, and having that postpartum period. It was really hard for me. Transitioning into motherhood as someone who had had such an intense career trajectory was a real switch. Everything shifted. I had postpartum depression and terrible anxiety. It still feels a little bit fresh, but hopefully I’ll be able to write about it soon. We moved to Israel last August, which really fulfilled a lifelong dream as well. I’d love to write about that, too—just continuing with the creative non-fiction and seeing where it takes me.

How do you balance motherhood with your career now? Where do you find empowerment in both of those things?

You have to know yourself. I’ve learned that I need some sort of creative, intellectual outlet in addition to raising my three-and-a-half-year-old daughter. Being in the home is my priority, but if I don’t have that outlet, I’m not a happy person, and if I’m not happy, my family suffers. Working part-time with writing and podcasting allows me to be my own boss. Some women want to be out of the house, and that’s okay, too. I think everyone has to find their own way and see what works best for them and their families.

It is hard coming from the secular world where everything is external. If you’re not doing anything outside the home, it’s like you’re not doing anything worthwhile. A lot of the woman’s role is in the home, and it’s more internal and private. As women, though, we have a unique role and it’s our responsibility to honor who we are and express that in the world, whether it’s internal or external.

I love that, so beautifully said.

Thank you. Yes, I think that’s also the main thing I want people to take away from my book. Hashem is constantly sending us messages, but we have to really listen for them. Everyone has their own path and getting in touch with ourselves and Hashem will be what leads us there.

You can get Jenna’s book on Amazon here. To reach Jenna, visit her on Instagram at @modernjewishgirl or through her website, modernjewishgirl.com.