We’ve all been there — those moments when emotions feel overwhelming, confusing, or even inconvenient. Maybe it’s the sinking feeling of anxiety before a presentation, the wave of frustration during a difficult conversation, or the unexpected sadness that hits you out of nowhere.
Here’s the truth: Emotions aren’t random. They’re not something to push aside or “get over.” They’re messengers, packed with valuable information that can guide us if we’re willing to listen.
The Truth About Emotions
Emotions often get a bad rap. Society teaches us to “stay strong,” “think positive,” or “shake it off.” While there’s value in resilience, ignoring emotions or dismissing them as “irrational” robs us of an opportunity to learn.
What if we stopped seeing emotions as roadblocks and started viewing them as signposts?
That anxiety before a presentation? It’s likely trying to tell you that you care deeply about doing well. The frustration during a tough conversation? Maybe it’s signaling that a boundary has been crossed. Even sadness can be a quiet reminder that something meaningful needs your attention.
When we shift our perspective, emotions become tools, not burdens.
Validating Emotions: The Key to Understanding
The first step in using emotions as guidance is validation. Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with or amplifying your feelings—it means acknowledging them without judgment.
Here’s an example: Imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed by a long to-do list. Instead of brushing it off with, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” try saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed because I have a lot on my plate right now. That’s okay. This is hard.”
Validation gives your emotions permission to exist, which is crucial for understanding what they’re trying to tell you.
Emotions as Information
Once you’ve validated your feelings, it’s time to get curious. Ask yourself:
- What am I feeling? Get specific. Are you angry, frustrated, or disappointed? Naming the emotion helps you understand it better.
- Why am I feeling this way? Look for the trigger. Did something happen, or is there an underlying need or fear?
- What is this emotion trying to tell me? Emotions often point to unmet needs, values, or boundaries.
Let’s break it down with an example:
- You feel anxious before a meeting.
- After validating your anxiety, you realize it’s because you don’t feel fully prepared.
- That anxiety is guiding you to take action—maybe review your notes or clarify your questions.
Turning Emotions into Action
The beauty of emotions is that they don’t just offer information—they also motivate action. Here’s how you can use them to guide you:
- Pause and Reflect: When an emotion arises, take a moment to breathe and identify what you’re feeling.
- Validate Without Judgment: Remind yourself that it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
- Ask Questions: Explore what the emotion is trying to tell you.
- Take Aligned Action: Use the information to make a choice that aligns with your values and goals.
A Personal Story
I remember a time when I felt stuck—completely overwhelmed by my own schedule. Every day felt like a battle between wanting to achieve my goals and feeling paralyzed by the sheer amount of work.
At first, I ignored the frustration and guilt, telling myself, “I should be able to handle this.” But the emotions kept resurfacing, louder each time.
Finally, I paused and really listened. The frustration wasn’t about the work itself—it was about the lack of boundaries I had set around my time. My emotions were trying to tell me that I needed to prioritize and say “no” to things that didn’t align with my goals.
Once I validated my feelings and acted on their guidance, everything shifted. I felt lighter, more in control, and—most importantly—aligned with what truly mattered to me.
“Once I validated my feelings, everything shifted. I felt lighter, more in control, and — most importantly — aligned with what truly mattered to me.”
Why This Matters for You
Emotions are part of the human experience—they’re not something to be avoided or feared. When you validate your emotions and use them as guidance, you empower yourself to make choices that align with your values, strengthen your relationships, and improve your overall well-being.
The next time you’re overwhelmed by feelings, try this: Pause, validate, and listen. Trust that your emotions are there to help, not hinder, you.
Let’s Start a Conversation
What’s one emotion you’ve been grappling with lately, and what do you think it’s trying to tell you? Write it down and think about how you’re using your emotions as guidance throughout your day.
Let’s normalize tuning in, validating, and letting our emotions guide us toward growth and fulfillment.
