Okay guys, Pesach is officially behind us which feels crazy to say because it takes up nearly a whole month in prep, holiday life and regrouping.
Because it’s such a massive holiday though, I don’t want to let it just pass me by (no pun initially intended) without taking some time to reflect on a few lessons gleaned.
To be fair, this took me a bit of digging to get into. Because of the mental load and amount of physical prep work, you both feel more tuned into the spiritual aspect with getting rid of chametz, but also less because everything else seems to take priority. But through it all, I do feel different coming out of this holiday. Sometimes, we do things intentionally to get us to new places and sometimes, the energy of the time has an effect all on its own. Here, some of my takeaways:
1. It can take time to truly feel free from the things holding you back and that’s okay.
I thought about our seder last year vs this year and I do feel like a different person now, even if the growth felt slow at the time. Sometimes, we’re just not ready for certain things one year and it’s important to live in that space. Don’t push yourself. If you’re upset about something in your life, don’t feel forced to overcome it. Acknowledge where you are, give yourself love and know that the next year things might look different.
Then, acknowledge how far you’ve come. Whether you’ve released something from the year before or just aren’t as hung up on something else, those things are huge! They deserve to be honored and celebrated as we spiral up through life.
“My life looks different every year, my circumstances change and I not only bring a different energy to the holiday but the holiday infuses me with something different as well.”
2. Perfect is the enemy of the good.
With Pesach, the perfectionistic tendencies can really come out. We literally have to get rid of every morsel of chametz in sight and it can be stressful when you have a whole house to prepare! There is so much buildup to the seder and then it’s just one night (or in our case, two) but it can feel like a lot of pressure to get it all right and make it the most spiritual you can.
Then, the second night you’re tired and feel pressured to do it perfectly again. Sinking into it, whatever it may be and whatever comes from it — whatever Torah is shared, whatever jumps out at you, however the kids behave, and just accepting it while doing your personal best in that moment is all you need to do. The rest comes from Hashem. This is a hard one for me. I want to feel like we did it well, that Hashem is proud and I was able to connect in the highest way on this extremely holy night but sometimes, the pressure just takes away from the joy and beauty. Enjoying it, savoring the time and moments with family and friends around you I think is more important and releasing expectation as well.
3. Sometimes (okay a lot of the time) feeling the opposite feeling helps us appreciate what we have.
Often, you only appreciate what you have when you feel the opposite. For example, I feel so much more appreciation for chametz and kitniyot now that bread was taken away, and feel so much excitement for beautiful spring and summer weather after a long winter.
It can feel easy to long to live somewhere else that has beautiful weather all the time or get used to the weekly challah at the Shabbat table but recognizing that and internalizing the appreciation and gratitude for all Hashem gives us is special. Having harder times helps us appreciate the sweet. Feeling more restrictive helps us appreciate the usual abundance. There is so much to be grateful for all around us, we just have to remind ourselves sometimes and feel it in a new way.
4. Disconnection is okay and welcome, AND your worth is about so much more than your output.
This is a hard one for me as well but one that I’m really coming to internalize more and more. A lot of the time I feel like my value is placed on what I do. Am I working hard enough? Doing enough? Creating enough? Am I in the right place in life? Of course, every person is on their own unique path and there is no one right place in life and Pesach is a reminder of that.
When we disconnect for a long period of time, we’re reminded of the beauty in simple connection, of just being together with family and friends. It’s not about how much you do (even though it can feel that way with chol hamoed activities or food photos) but really, it’s just about being in the moment, preparing for the same thing and then living it.
We experience this weekly a little bit with Shabbat, but feeling it on Pesach in a larger, bigger way just helps me internalize it all the more so. What we do with our time in the regular routine life is so important and also taking a step back and just being with the people you love and just being in general is equally so.
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It’s interesting to see how my reflections change from year to year. I look back at my article from four years ago and it’s interesting to see how different my takeaways were. It’s cool to see the growth and important to flow with the changes that each year brings. My life looks different every year, my circumstances change and I not only bring a different energy to the holiday but the holiday infuses me with something different as well.
Now, just trying to feel acceptance for those things, understanding and love for the place I’m in in life and gratitude for everything I am building with Hashem’s help.
What are your reflections this Pesach? Feel free to share below!
