Adar 5783: Change in an Instant

“You’re so calm,” a colleague said to me on a Zoom call the other day. It was almost a shock to hear as I feel like in the past week, I’ve been a bit of an anxious mess.

The reality is that I’m like a duck (lol). My presence is calm, but under the surface, my legs (or thoughts) are going a million miles a minute, paddling me about. I’ve made a lot of progress trying to get that outward appearance to go more inward, but as most things in life, it’s a journey.

In the past couple of weeks, it seems that there has been a sharp increase in antisemitic events and attacks both in America and Israel. For another job I have, we cover these attacks so it’s part of my work to stay informed. As I scrolled through the Google news search, states all over the country popped up with articles. One in New Hampshire, South Carolina, California, Maryland, the list goes on.

Then, announcements about a “day of hate” were posted on my Insta stories making me shudder even further. Antisemitism is not a new ailment we’re dealing with, but it’s one that doesn’t get less frightening. I found myself on Wednesday night bitter, resentful and terrified for the future.

Then, I started learning more about the new month we’ve entered of Adar. One of my best friends gave an insightful Torah class to a chabura of women about the themes of this month. So much of what she was saying, I realized, was the antidote to the fear I was feeling so deeply. Thinking on it in an active way that truly helps me absorb it, is the only thing that’s creating a change. So now, I share some of those reflective thoughts with you.

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First, the mazal, or symbol, of the month is a fish. We know fish can’t survive without water. As humans, we can relate that water to spirituality — something we should always be engulfed in as well. As creatures of the sea, fish also represent a concealed reality. The fact is, the reality we’re living day to day is also concealed. Hashem reveals himself in small ways, when we really look, but ultimately, it’s a world of hiddenness. The point of this world is to work hard to reveal His essence. Plus, some things I have to accept I just won’t understand.

The whole Purim story is written without mentioning Hashem’s name once. While He’s not mentioned, He is actually running the whole show. Knowing that and really clinging to it in a way I hadn’t before — gives me the emunah that He’s doing the same thing right now.

We’re living in a reality replete with hate, crime, violence and war. Knowing that what I see on the surface isn’t the full picture is one of the only things that soothes me through it.

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Each month on the Jewish calendar also has a sense. This month, the sense is laughter. Naturally, in Adar we’re told to increase our joy — we’re supposed to be happy! Raise your hand though if it feels hard to run around skipping all day when you’re inundated with terror-inducing news. (It’s me, hi!)

Then, I got to thinking — Hashem is literally telling us that not only do we need to increase our joy right now but we need to be happy always. It is our mitzvah and obligation as a Jew. “But how?” I thought. Why should I be happy when so many are suffering? How can I be happy through this fear?

I listened to a shiur about happiness as part of a webinar I’m in. The teacher, Sara Yocheved Rigler, brought up a Ted Talk by Eddie Jaku, who calls himself the “Happiest Man on Earth.” You may be picturing someone with relatively few problems in life, who hasn’t been through too much, but no. Eddie went through the Holocaust — in two different concentration camps among other internment camps. He was beaten, saw his parents die and came out with nothing. He calls his time in Auschwitz, “Hell on Earth.”

In his Ted Talk he says, “Happiness does not fall from the sky, it’s in your hands. If you’re healthy and happy, you’re a millionaire.” If he can say that, I certainly can. He’s reminding all of us about the most powerful and pertinent part of happiness. It’s a choice. Our external circumstances can be wild, difficult, filled with suffering and anxiety and yet, we can still be happy. We can be struggling and still laugh. (Thanks, Eddie!)

Eddie lived until he was 101. He just passed away a little over a year ago. He is proof that a life with suffering does not have to equate to bitterness. Further, he showed that a life of happiness is the secret to longevity and will help you just live more life. 

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On my downward spiral the other night though, when I was really in a news dive, forgetting everything about Eddie, I decided to go straight to the source and strengthen my emunah. I turned to the next chapter of Living Emunah, which I’m currently reading and the entry spoke to my soul. (Don’t you love when hashgacha pratis (Divine Intervention) works?!)

The entry was actually called “Don’t Lose Hope.” It was about how things can change immediately. Sometimes it may look like everything is getting worse, but actually we’re just a second away from our yeshua, or salvation. When we feel like we’re on the verge of despair, this is actually the moment when we need to “double our efforts and pray with even greater faith and determination, recognizing things can change in an instant.”

It was just the chizuk, or strength, I needed in that moment. I’m gripping it as I type. With all this pain, I have to believe we can be minutes — seconds even — away from salvation. I am using that belief to fuel my part in it. Instead of despairing, I’m davening. Instead of being afraid (which of course still comes at times), I’m channeling that into giving tzedakah, saying Tehillim or checking in on a friend. If I’m here, then Hashem put me here for a purpose.

In each moment, I have the choice to do something that may change the course of action — certainly for my life and maybe even speed up the bringing of Moshaich. We all have that ability. 

Ironically, that’s just the story of Purim. Everything the Jews thought would be bad for them, ended up being part of their salvation. Things seemed like they were at their worst, but then turned around for the best. This is the time that Hashem can bring our salvation again — we have to believe that.

So now, I’ve never felt more energized about Adar. I’m feeling so much joy because Moshiach’s arrival could be imminent. Honestly, what better time than Adar for him to come! The world feels so upside down, yet we’re meant to be at our highest level of joy. Let’s savor any and all the good that’s coming our way and choose joy throughout our days. Together, we will make Moshaich come. (Hands in!)

xoxo, Alex