Life-Changing Modest Style Tips From Liza Sakhaie of The Reflective

Stuck with “nothing to wear”? Liza Sakhaie of The Reflective is about to show you how you can boost your wardrobe with a few key tips. From what to stock in your closet to where to shop, she’s got you covered (and dressed quite well) from every angle. 

What staples should every modest woman have in her closet?

First, a slip dress. It’s super versatile. I wear it as a skirt with a sweater over it and then belted. Or I’ll put a long cardigan over it. If I’m going out to dinner, I might put a turtleneck underneath with a blazer. There are so many different outfits you can make, which is always my goal, so I don’t have to buy so much. (Check The Reflective’s newsletter on this topic.)

A belt. If you have a good belt, it can make any outfit look a little more put together. The type of belt you choose is truly dependent on the outfit. For some baggier looks, it’s just to make sure your waist doesn’t get hidden. I’ll take a thin belt or even a ribbon or a rope and pull the extra material of the dress over the top to cover up the belt, just so it’s adding a cinch. Other times you want a thick belt that’s really holding the outfit together, completing the look. Sometimes, you want the belt to be the centerpiece of your outfit, which I think is the easiest way to elevate a look. There are chain belts or belts with really cool buckles. I have a belt that has a tiger face as the buckle and I always get stopped when I wear it. It’s a statement in and of itself.

Something cropped. A cropped t-shirt, sweater or jacket is important when you’re dressing modestly, because no matter what your figure is—this really holds with all shapes—you don’t want your hips to get lost in an outfit, which can happen often. So, if you wear a cropped sweater over a dress or a cropped jacket with a skirt, it accentuates the fact that you have hips and you’re not a straight board. You’re not supposed to be unfeminine just because you’re dressing modestly. You can still be tzanua and show that you’re a woman. So that’s been a life hack I depend on.

What are some unexpected pieces that can boost a modest look?

A cool pair of pants. Putting pants under a dress is a staple for me but finding pants that are going to look good under a dress is a whole new game, rather than just putting them under a shirt. The most important thing to look for is the top. If the top of the jeans is bulkier, that’s going to show under the dress, which is always a problem I had. So, I look for a seamless top.

In terms of the pant style, it really depends on your shape. I’m super tall, so I like to wear baggier pants, but I’m not sure I could get away with that if I were shorter. 

Also, I would say mixing up your tights in the winter is a big one. Trying different prints or colors can be fun.

How can you streamline your purchases so you don’t spend so much money feeling like you’re constantly buying new things?

It may seem counterintuitive but investing more in a few key pieces that will last will save you money in the long run. If you just buy clothes from more trend-focused stores, you often find that things go out of style quickly or just don’t fit you properly—but you don’t want to spend the money tailoring them because they already were so cheap. Then they get all pilly and you end up throwing them out next year. You’re setting yourself up for failure.

Let’s say, though, that I tried on a plain black slip dress and it flattered me so well and so perfectly, but I think, “Oh, I could just get this at a cheaper store, I’m not going to buy it.” I’m learning it’s better to invest because it’s one piece that will last, and I can transform into a million different outfits and will do so because I love it and can’t stop thinking about it. Whereas, if I just buy it at a cheaper place where it doesn’t fit as great, I’m probably going to try it on once a week with an outfit and never feel good in it and so never end up wearing it and buy something else to replace it. 

Vintage shopping also can be great. A friend of mine took me and I got so many good finds for so much less.

What are some go-to sites for modest clothing that people might not know about?

We actually do a feature on The Reflective called “Underrated Brands,” in which we showcase brands that aren’t modest but have a lot of modest finds. Some of those are Nanushka, Ganni, Oak and Fort, and Rixo. A lot of these are actually very relevant brands in the fashion industry right now that I probably wouldn’t have looked at because I didn’t think they applied to me, but as I researched them, I was impressed by the amount of modest options they had and now they’re staples.

What questions do you ask yourself before buying something?

Number one is, “Does it flatter me?” The key in shopping is knowing what shapes look good on you and sticking to them. I have friends who only will buy things from three brands because they just know those names work well for their shape. Figuring it out is really just trial and error. I had to learn things all over again for myself when I started dressing modestly. Trying a bunch of things on will help you figure out what cuts and silhouettes work for you. We also try and do newsletters that feature different looks for different body types and explain why they work.  (Check out a previous one here!) 

Two is, “Does it fit the modesty boundaries I’ve set for myself?” I have pretty clear lines in terms of my modesty, but they’re always evolving and growing. So, I think, is this something that will last for me? For example, I stopped buying t-shirts at a certain point even though I still wore them because I thought, “By next summer I don’t want to be wearing t-shirts.” So, being aware of where you’re holding in modesty makes a big difference for me.

Third, is, “Will this work in terms of cross-seasonality?” If I know I can wear something in two or more seasons I’m way more likely to buy it. If I’m in the dressing room and put on a floral skirt that I can also see myself wearing with a boots and sweater, then I’m sold. But if I can’t, then I’m probably less likely to invest unless it’s super special.

Where do you find nicer dresses for fancier occasions?

It’s so hard and I definitely haven’t mastered it, but I really do think it comes down to tailoring. It’s very hard to find something fully modest but it’s much easier to find something that can be made modest with a good tailor. So maybe it’s adding sleeves or taking fabric from the bottom and using it to cover a cutout. You have to get creative, but that’s my main solution for now. I always say if I ever start another business in this field it’s going to be creating modest evening wear or bathing suits. Those are the two things I have so much difficulty with right now.

Let’s talk accessories. What pieces can really elevate a look?

Shoes are great in general. Sneakers and a slip dress look really cute together, or if you’re shorter, a pair of platform sneakers can make your outfit and help you feel taller if that’s something you want. I also love earrings. I have so many fun earrings that I can add to any outfit, so even if I’m wearing all black, it will still look cool and put together if I put earrings on. Jewelry in general is fun.

Lastly, let’s talk comfort since loungewear has become even more popular. How can you be comfortable and still feel put together?

It’s definitely much easier in the winter than in the summer. So, in the winter, there are a lot of matching knit sets that make it really easy because you don’t have to think in the morning and they’re really cozy—it’s like you’re wearing a blanket. Sweatshirt dresses are also cool. You can pair one with really fun, printed leggings and be so comfortable yet styled.

For more from Liza and The Reflective, click here!